


Sacrifice

by Ephemeral97



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-01
Updated: 2020-04-01
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:13:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23429032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ephemeral97/pseuds/Ephemeral97
Summary: "Sacrifice, that's what we do for the people we love." You have to be willing to sacrifice everything to be apart of the scouts. Alexandra was willing to make that sacrifice to be with her sister again, but when fate has other plans, Alexandra will have to find a new reason to stay alive when she goes outside the walls.
Relationships: OC/Levi Ackerman
Kudos: 1





	1. Prologue

"Sacrifice, that's what we do for the people we love." Normally soft features seemed to harden.

"So what? You joined the scouts to get killed?"

Alexandra turned her glare to Mikasa who sat on her bed across the room. "Well, I'm not going to throw myself into a titans mouth at the first sign of trouble if that's what you're asking." Her eyes softened again. "Your life isn't the only thing to lose. We're all making sacrifices. When was the last time any of you have seen your families?"

The room the girls had gathered fell silent. The wind howled outside, rain pounding away at the windows. Alexandra pushed the stray strands of blonde hair behind her ear before deciding to redo her ponytail all together. She pulled it tight before letting her hands fall to her sides. A sigh escaped her lips.

"I joined the scouts to be with my sister." The other girls were broken out of their thoughts and looked back to Alexandra. "Charity started training to join the scouts as soon as Wall Maria fell. I wanted to go with her, but I was too young. As soon as I was able to join, I did." Alexandra swallowed hard. "My mother told me that if I joined, she would never talk to me again, but I didn't care as long as I got to see Charity again. When it was almost time for us to pick which branch we would join, I got a letter from my mother. Charity had died in a mission outside of the walls."

Alexandra brushed away the tears that were ready to fall and a hand fell on her shoulder. She looked up to see Sasha had moved to be beside her. A small, sad smile rested on her face. Alexandra forced one back as Krista moved to be on her other side. Krista took Alexandra's hand in hers and gave it a quick squeeze.

"So why did you join the scouts? You knew your sister was gone." Ymir asked from her spot beside Mikasa.

Alexandra shrugged. "I was almost done with my training and I had to see for myself, make sure my mom wasn't trying to bring me home." Alexandra pulled her hand away from Krista and Sasha dropped her hand back to her side. "I never thought about leaving when I realized my sister wasn't here. She wouldn't have wanted that. She would have wanted me to find something else worth sacrificing for so that's what I did."

"And what is that?" Krita asked, turning so she could face Alexandra completely.

Lightning flashed through the window and Alexandra stood up. "We should get going. It's just about dinner time."

Sasha didn't have to be told twice, happy to be off to dinner. Alexandra stood at the door and held it open for the others. Alexandra couldn't meet their eyes as they passed her. When Mikasa passed her, Alexandra finally let the door shut with a soft thump behind her and walked with the rest of the girls toward the hall where the rest of the scouts would be waiting for dinner.

Thoughts of her sister swam through her mind. Charity's laugh, her smile, the day she left to join the scouts, the day she got the letter… She pushed the thoughts out of her mind. She couldn't focus on that. She had to focus on what mattered now. Her sister was gone, Alexandra couldn't protect her. When the doors opened to the hall, she took a deep breath, there was still someone she could protect and she would make any sacrifice to keep them safe. Even if that sacrifice was her life.


	2. Chapter 2

*6 months earlier*

The sun was fading behind the hills and many of the cadets were retreating back toward dinner after a long day of training, but Alexandra lagged behind, sitting near the edge of the training grounds. An envelope clutched in her hand had gained her attention once again. Alexandra stared down at her mother's neat writing shining bright up at her. She should open it, but after what her mother had said when she left… What if it was an apology? She flipped the envelope over and looked at the seal. She ran her fingers over it, debating. To open it, or to not open it.

"What are you still doing out here? You should come inside with everyone."

Alexandra jumped at the sudden interruption and folded the letter quickly before shoving it in her pocket unceremoniously and turning to Marco. His eyes flickered to Alexandra's hand where she had been holding the letter, but didn't ask.

"Just reminiscing." She lied. "We have our initiation ceremony tomorrow, the last real chance to be out here. Last night we'll all be together."

Marco nodded and smiled sadly. "Yeah I guess you're right." He looked up at the moon and then back to Alexandra, "Well then we should get back to everyone, right? Last night to all be together?"

Alexandra nodded and started toward the hall with Marco falling into step beside her. "Do you know where you'll go after tomorrow?"

"I'm joining the military police."

Alexandra faltered in her steps for a moment, hoping Marco hadn't noticed. "I'm sure you'll do great there. I'm sure you'll be running the place before too long." She joked.

Marco laughed lightly. "You're still joining the scouts, I guess?"

Alexandra nodded. "Yeah." She paused as they reached the doors of the hall. She could hear the laughter and chatting of the 104th cadets inside the hall and turned to face Marco. "I'm going to miss you."

Marco's hand fell onto Alexandra's shoulder and gave it a light squeeze, "I'll miss you too, but not tonight. Tonight we celebrate the end of our training."

*Present Day*

"What did you say, Horseface?"

Eren slamming his hands down onto the table broke Alexandra out of her trance. Before anyone could react, Eren and Jean were on their feet and at each other's throats once again. Armin was standing trying to calm the situation, like he always does. The rest of the scouts either watched the exchange or ignored it, too used to the bickering to be bothered by the sudden interruption.

Alexandra shot a look at the table where the squad leaders sat, waiting to see if any of them reacted to the disturbance. Most of them had already left the hall and none of the ones who were there seemed to care about a couple of cadets arguing.

"Knock it off. You don't want Captain Levi to come in here and find you arguing, do you?" Alexandra asked, taking a sip from her water cup.

The boys separated, Eren looking quickly to see if the captain was in the area, obviously not eager to face any punishment that the captain would have for them. Jean straightened his jacked and returned to his seat, flashing an annoyed look to Eren.

"He's not here, but you were giving me a headache." Alexandra gave them a forced smile and shoveled another bite of food into her mouth. She stood up while she was still chewing.

"Wait, where are you going?" Jean demanded.

Alexandra grabbed her plate and shot him a look, "Back to my room? Is that okay with you?"

Armin broke in before Jean could say anything, "Alex, it's just that you didn't really eat that much. You need to be in top condition to go outside the wall tomorrow."

Alexandra smiled and nodded, "I know, I'm just not hungry." Alex could feel eyes on her, but she shrugged it off and looked to Sasha, "Hey Sasha, do you want this?"

Alexandra didn't wait for an answer before tossing Sasha the untouched bread from her plate before going to clean off the plate.

The night air chilled Alex's face as she left the warmth of the hall. She walked out toward the courtyard and took a seat on one of the planters. She assumed they used to be filled with flowers, but as the Fall moved in, the planters were filled with only dirt and stray leaves. Fingers dug into the soft soil, allowing her to lean back and stare up at the stars. The moon peeked out from behind clouds and she watched as the clouds passed over it. The breeze blew the loose strands of hair across her face.

Alex closed her eyes and let herself take in the moment. Tomorrow, she would be going outside the walls. Tonight could be the last night she saw the moon, felt the cool breeze, smelled the earthy odor of the dirt in the planter behind her. Tonight could be the last night she saw the scout headquarters.

"Cadet Spare, what are you doing out here?"

The captain's voice startled Alexandra and she jumped to her feet, splashing her shirt with dirt from the planter in her quick salute. "Captain, I was just enjoying the stars before heading back to my room to rest for tomorrow's mission outside the walls.."

"At ease, Cadet." Captain Levi looked up to the sky, clouds had shrouded the moon making the stars shine a little bit brighter. The captain looked back at Alexandra and wrinkled his nose, "Make sure you wipe off that dirt before you come inside. If I find any dirt inside the barracks, you will clean it before the mission tomorrow, do you understand?"

"Yes, Sir." Alexandra saluted again and watched for the captain to leave the courtyard before she dropped her arm back to her side.

Dropping back into her spot on the planter, she leaned forward onto her knees and stared at the ground, sighing as she did. The clouds moved away again, letting the moon shine brightly again when Alexandra looked up. She inhaled deeply and let it out again before she stood up, brushing the remaining dirt off her hands and shirt before heading inside.


	3. Chapter 3

The sun felt warm even under the shade of the tree where Alexandra sat reading quietly. She looked up when she heard footsteps approaching. Once Alexandra saw who it was, she hurried to put her book down and pushed herself to her feet.

“Alex, what are you doing out here?” 

Alexandra didn’t answer right away, her mouth felt dry. She wasn’t supposed to be here, she couldn’t be here.

“Charity, you can’t-how are you here? You’re-”

“Dead?” Alexandra nodded and Charity smiled and took another step toward her sister and brushed her hair out of her face. “I know. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to leave you all alone.”

“You didn’t have to go.”

“You know I did. Just like you did.” 

Alexandra took a step back from her sister. “Am I dead?”

Charity laughed. It sounded like music to Alex. Her sister’s laugh. She never thought she would hear it again. “No, just sleeping.”

Alexandra’s shoulders dropped. It was only a dream. Her sister wasn’t here. It was only a dream. Charity grabbed her hand in both of hers. Alexandra looked up at her. She was still smiling.

“Just because it’s a dream, doesn’t mean I’m not here. I’m always here.” Charity touched Alex’s temple with her finger. “And here.” Charity moved her finger to Alex’s chest, over her heart.

Alexandra met her sister’s eyes “I miss you.”

“I miss you too.” 

Alexandra threw her arms around her sister before being plunged into a dark room.

Alexandra squinted, trying to adjust her eyes to the darkness around her. She took a deep breath before pushing herself out of her bed and made it in the expected fashion. Once the bed was made, she got ready for the day. For the trip outside the walls. Her first time outside the walls. It wasn’t anything big, just a scouting mission. That’s what Alex told herself as she slowly pulled her jacket on. The winged crest displayed proudly on her back and shoulders.

Breakfast was quieter than usual. Most of the cadets seemed to be forcing food down, only Sasha seemed to have a real appetite. Alexandra munched quietly on her food, head down going over the plans for the formation that she had been given the day before. She would be on the left of the formation, closer to the center. She was in charge of firing the signals if there was an abnormal. Alexandra felt her stomach clench, nerves kicking in and her appetite gone. She pushed her food away before standing up and heading out toward the stables to help ready the horses.  
The wall looked taller as the cadets stood in a cluster version of their formation. The world beyond the wall was something most of them had dreamed about, wondering what was out there, others had nightmares of the horrible creatures that waited for them, clawing at the wall, looking for a way in.

The gates opened and those in front began to charge forward. As soon as she could, Alexandra signaled for her own horse to start forward. She passed through the dark tunnel and through the second gate and into the sun. Her heart skipped a beat. She was outside. The sun seemed brighter, the air was fresher, the grass was greener. She felt giggles bubble up and pass through her lips in excitement. She was outside. 

The excitement died in her chest when she saw the first red smoke signal. A titan was spotted to her left. Fear settled itself in Alexandra’s stomach and for a moment she wondered if this was how her sister felt on her mission outside the walls. The excitement and then the crippling fear. She hadn’t seen a titan outside yet, but she knew what they were capable of. All of the 104th cadets did. She tried to remember who was on her left in the formation. Her thoughts were cut short when a titan on all fours rushed through the tree line. 

She pulled her horse back, her squad leader shouting at her to send up the signal. Alexandra reached for the holster on her hip to grab the gun. Hands shaking so bad she almost dropped it, she fired the black smoke into the sky. Her squadmates had already sprung into action and the titan was dead and smoking before Alexandra could process what was happening. 

Heart pounding, she pressed on. The next time a titan showed up, she would be ready. Her hands were still shaking as she held her horses' reins, and she willed them to stop. She had seen titans before, she hadn’t been shaking then, why now? Alexandra’s thoughts wandered to the day the titans had broken through Wall Sina, but she pushed those thoughts away. She had to focus on the mission. 

They rode quickly toward their destination, coming closer to the forest that they had been trying to avoid when the black smoke rose in sequence beside her squad. This time Alex was ready, pulling out her smoke gun and loading it with the black packet and firing the signal into the air. She pressed her horse to go faster to catch up with the rest of her squad. 

Suddenly, the abnormal stepped into her path. Alexandra pulled back on the reins of her horse, a scream escaping from her lips. The horse bucked beneath Alexandra and her hands slipped and she fell back to the hard ground. Alexandra felt a sharp pain in the back of her head, vision blurring before everything went to black.


	4. Chapter 4

She was gone. Alexandra reread the words over and over that were printed in her mother’s neat script. Accompanied with one final request for her return, her mother had informed her of Charity’s latest mission. The only time her sister would have ever been outside the walls. Charity’s face, beautiful and smiling flashed through her mind as she reread the letter. Alexandra’s heart clenched painfully, but the tears didn’t come. 

“I thought I would find you out here.” Marco leaned against the edge of the planter where Alexandra sat, the letter still clutched in her hands. 

“I just wanted to get some fresh air. Look at the moon.” Alexandra replied looking up to the sky.

Marco followed her gaze up to where the moon shined down. He looked back to Alexandra, her eyes were back down at the paper in her hands. 

“Are you okay?” He asked.

Alexandra shrugged and passed Marco the letter. “It’s from my mom.” Marco took the letter hesitantly. “I won’t find Charity in the scouts. My mom wants me to come home.”

Marco read the letter to himself, using the moon’s light before pulling himself up on the planter beside Alexandra. “I’m sorry.”

Alexandra shrugged again, looking straight ahead now that the weight of the words had settled in her chest. “It’s okay. You didn’t kill her.”

They sat in silence for a while, the letter laying on the stone between them.The sounds of celebration could be heard from inside the hall where dinner had taken place and the cadets of the 104th were talking about the adventure that awaited them tomorrow. They had declared their regimen they would be reporting to the next day.

“Are you going home?” Marco asked looking back up to the moon.

Alexandra shook her head. “No. She wouldn’t want that. Charity would want me to keep going. Find something I was willing to lay my life down for.” Alexandra looked quickly to Marco, “I’m not going to do anything dumb and purposfully get myself killed. But,” she looked down at her shoes, “there are worse things than dying. I want my life to mean something.”

“And what would that be?” Marco asked.

Alexandra shrugged, “I don’t know yet,” she looked at him again and forced a smile, “but I’ll let you know when I figure it out.”

Marco smiled back and Alexandra pushed herself off the planter. “I think we should go back inside.”

Marco jumped down with her “You’re probably right.”

Alexandra picked up the letter and stuffed it into the inner pocket of her jacket before meeting Marco’s eyes. “Can we keep this between us? I don’t want to ruin everyone’s night.”

Marco threw his arm around her shoulders casually and started leading her back toward the hall, “Your secrets are always safe with me, Lex”

Alexandra tried to pry her eyes open, but the light hurt. She was lying on something hard and her head hurt. A sheet covered her body and it made her hot. Alexandra tried to push the blanket off and sit up, but a pair of hands pushed her back down.

“Marco... ” She tried brushing them away, but they pushed her down again.

There was a short pause before a voice Alexandra could vaguely recognize spoke, “No, Alexandra, it’s Armin. You hit your head pretty hard, we need you to stay still. We're almost to the wall and when you see a doctor you’ll be able to sit up, okay?”

Alexandra made a noise of understanding and squeezed her eyes shut to block out the light that was making her head hurt. It felt like a million years passed like that, eyes shut hard to keep out the light and her brain pounding hard inside her skull trying to escape. When they finally got to the scout infirmary, the doctors gently moved Alexandra and the other injured into beds to examine. 

When Alexandra finally opened her eyes, she was in a white room laying under a white sheet. There were curtains separating her and the beds on either side of her. Her head hurt less now, but the dull pounding was still there. Alexandra reached up and could feel bandages wrapping around her head. Her body ached and it was uncomfortable to move, but she was alive. She tried to remember what had happened. The titan had stepped close to the horse, it had bucked her off, and then nothing. Not until the white room with all its curtains.

“Alex, how are you feeling?” Alexandra pushed herself up onto the pillow behind her more at the sound of Armin’s voice. 

He stood partially behind the curtain as if waiting for her permission to enter the sectioned off part of the room. Alexandra motioned for him to enter and he came to stand beside her bed. She noticed he had bandages around his head too.

“Well, I’m alive.” Alexandra felt a sudden panic rise up in her chest, “Is everyone alright?”

Armin shrugged, “We lost a lot of people, but not as many as expected.” 

“How am I alive? There was a titan and I fell off my horse. I should have been lunch for that thing.”

Armin shrugged and sat on the very edge of the bed, looking at his shoes. “Your squad was able to kill it. I don’t know all the details, but they said you’re very lucky. ”

Alexandra nodded and sat up a little straighter. Armin squirmed uncomfortably where he sat, debating something in his mind. Finally, he looked at Alexandra with concern.

“On the way back, you were slipping in and out of consciousness a lot. When you would wake up, you would try to sit up, do you remember that?” 

Alexandra shook her head, unsure of what Armin was talking about.

Armin looked uneasy, “You called me Marco. A couple times. Or maybe you were asking for him, I’m not sure, but...” Armin paused. Alexandra was sure any color that she had had was gone now. “I know you were friends and I just wanted to ask, are you okay? I know it must still-”

“I’m fine.” Alexandra interjected more forcefully than she had meant to. “I’m fine,” she repeated more calmly.

Armin nodded in understanding, “Well, if you ever want to talk about it, I’ll be here.”

Alexandra nodded and Armin stood up and started to leave, but stopped when Alexandra called him back. “Let’s just keep this between us? I don’t think I could handle everyone talking about it. I was just confused.”

Armin nodded once before leaving the makeshift room. Alexandra fell a little deeper into the pillow behind her, embarrassed by what Armin had told her happened in the cart. She tried to push the thoughts out of her mind, but there was little to distract her in the little white room.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first work on AO3 so let me know if there is anything that needs to change with the format


End file.
